When my sons were young, my wife and I took them with us on my business trips.  We ate in the hotel restaurants where I did business.  They became accustomed to restaurant service.  On one occasion, at breakfast, Marty, who was four or five years old at the time, felt the syrup jar and said with obvious disgust, “Hmpff!  This syrup’s not even warm!”   He had come to expect a rather high level of service.  This sense of entitlement is one of the dangers of prosperity, and though it was cute in Marty’s childish innocence, it becomes grotesque in adolescence and especially adulthood.  When our parents love us and try to provide the best for us, we are tempted to develop an attitude of entitlement.  This same attitude can be fostered by our democratic political system, in which the leaders are elected by the people as servants of the people.  We can become very critical and demanding if these servants of ours don’t provide the service that we expect and feel entitled to.  And in their efforts to get elected, they frequently make unrealistic promises to provide services that we come to expect, and we feel deprived and cheated if they are not forthcoming.  How ironic that, even though we live in the most prosperous nation on earth – perhaps in history – instead of thankful, we feel deprived and short-changed!  Because we feel entitled.

Jesus teaches us not to expect to be served.  He does not want us to feel entitled to better things, services, etc.  He wants us to discover the joy of serving and working to make our homes and communities better.  He wants us to be more focused on what we can be doing for others than on what they are failing to do for us.  He also wants us to be thankful for all that others have done and are continuing to do for us.  If you look deeply into all the things that you use and enjoy each day, you realize that almost all of them were provided by others.  We did not build the cars we drive, nor the roads we drive on.  Our water and electricity are provided by others.  Our houses were built by others.  We are the beneficiaries of all the wisdom and cunning that has been discovered through trial and error in the entire course of human history.  Jesus wants us to serve each other joyfully, and to be thankful for the immeasurable gift of all that others have done for us.  And to God for making it all possible.

Lord please forgive me for feeling entitled to being served rather than following Your wonderful example as a servant.  Please help me to more mindful of and thankful for the blessings of life, not only in Your Kingdom, but also in a prosperous and free nation.

By Mark Graham

10/06

On a ten-hour motorcycle road trip I had opportunity to become more mindful of my thoughts and the attending emotional responses.  Some examples are:  “While you were home, you didn’t visit your sister.”  [Sense of inadequacy or failure.]   “Your private practice has fallen off.  The phone hasn’t been ringing as much lately.”  [Sense of failure and anxiety.]   “Riding a motorcycle is dangerous.  You are 57 years old.  Your reaction time is not what it used to be.”  [Anxiety.  Feeling diminished and foolish.]  

Every day – every moment! – offers us a new opportunity to be more awake, aware and alive with the abundant life that Christ promises.  In the power of the Holy Spirit we can arise from and shake off the dark and oppressive mind sets that so easily encumber us [Heb.12:1].  The mind sets of regret, remorse, feelings of failure or inadequacy, dread of anything in the future, any fears or anxiety.  All these are oppressive to Life – the Life that Jesus died for us to have. All of us have made mistakes, hurt our loved ones, missed opportunities to love, etc.  And we all have tribulation yet to come. Satan loves to condemn us for these mistakes, and to strike fear or dread into our hearts regarding the future.  Jesus is not holding our failures against us if we have confessed them and turned away from them. And we must be careful not to hold them against ourselves or each other.  And He has promised to be with us always, and to never forsake us through whatever tribulations lie ahead [Mt.28:20]. Regarding both the past and the future, therefore, Jesus has set us free, just as he said He came to do [Lk.4:18].  Our brother, the apostle Paul came to understand with great joy that nothing in the universe could ever separate us from the love of God in Christ [Rm.8:38-9].  God loves us and does not want us to feel condemned, inadequate or fearful.  He wants us to be at peace, have joy, and be thankful within the context of His love for all. 

I found that, as I became mindful of my dark thoughts, I could turn them toward the Light of God’s Truth.  “My sister knows that I love her, and she is well pleased that I spent all my time with Mom.  I’ll call her later.”  “God has sustained me financially, and will continue to do so.”  “I will drive safely, and enjoy and be thankful for the beauty of God’s world passing by me on this beautiful day.  Oh look!  There’s a Giant Swallowtail Butterfly sailing across the road into a green pasture with peacefully grazing cattle!  Oh God, how beautiful!  Thank You!  Thank You!”

Lord please help us stay alive, awake and aware of Your liberating, joyful Presence and Love.

By Mark Graham

September 2006

I like my cat.  She doesn’t need me too much.  She likes to be petted, and she will jump up in my lap.  But after a short time, she becomes interested in something moving in the shrubs, or the flat surface of the Jacuzzi top looks good to her, and she’s off.  I rarely have time to get tired of petting her.  She has many interests; not just me.  I am not the primary source of her well-being – only one of them.  Even if I forget to feed her, she will go off and catch a lizard or a mole.  And she won’t hold it against me.  This suits me just fine.  My son’s dog, on the other hand, is very people-oriented.  If I put him outside on a chain attached to a long line that gives him the run of most of the backyard, and come inside the house, he yelps and whines incessantly.  He thinks I have abandoned him.  He has an anxiety attack.  This irritates me because I know full well that he is ok.  He has eaten, he is safe, and he can relieve himself if he needs to.  But he needs to be near me, in the house with me, to feel safe.  Sometimes I let him yelp until he tires out, so that he can see that he is ok, then I go out and let him in.  I want him to be free from excessive need, like my cat.  And like me in Christ.  I love my son’s dog as much as my cat.  But my cat is more satisfied because she seems to understand that everything is ok, even if people aren’t doing what they are “supposed to.”  When I realize that God will supply all my need, I am not so upset when people don’t do what I think they should.  I can still be at peace within myself.  I can still love them.  I am free from the need for them to be what I think they should be.  I am very thankful that Jesus didn’t need His disciples to be there for Him in order to complete His mission.  He would have failed, and my sins would not be forgiven.  He only needed God.  And so do we.

Lord Jesus, thank You for Your willingness to depend on God and not man to complete Your wonderful mission for the human family.  Help us to depend on God and not man to be everything we were created to be – joyful, loving and free, servants of God and man.

I was on my way to a race and as usual, was running a few minutes late. I had borrowed my wife’s little Honda Prelude, and decided I needed to check the oil before I started the motor. I reached next to the driver’s seat floorboard and pulled the latch with the little picture on it. Then I stepped around the door and proceeded to open the hood. It wouldn’t open. Thinking it was stuck; I rapped it with the heel of my hand and tried again. Still not open. So I went back to the floor-latch in the car and pulled a couple times to disengage the cable. Then I went back to the hood and pulled again, and again the hood would not cooperate. I was beginning to get impatient and pulled harder on the hood. It flexed, but wouldn’t open. Back to the latch and again it wouldn’t release. Now I’m resisting the temptation to curse. Another look at my watch and another confirmation that I was becoming later and later.

Have you ever been frustrated by something that just wouldn’t work for you? You’ve tried and tried and tried again, but it would not give. "Please God," you would say, in those words or something similar. Whether it was a person that wouldn’t see things your way or a job that refused to complete; or a child that wouldn’t listen; maybe something mechanical that wouldn’t work. Perhaps it was a test with a boss, co-worker, friend or family member. Whatever the situation, it refused to yield to your higher will. Just like the hood that refused to open on the Prelude, you became more and more frustrated, even to the point of breaking something.

Whoa! Step back for a time and re-assess. It could be that you are pushing the wrong button, trying the wrong technique, pulling the wrong latch, using the wrong tool, saying the wrong words, or have the wrong attitude. You could be going in the wrong direction. Here’s help from God. All through the scriptures, from the Old Testament period prophets through the coming of John the Baptist in early New Testament time, through Jesus’ ministry and on through today’s men and women of God there is a common call: "Repent!" How does one get on God’s plan or hook up with His power? It’s always "repentance and faith." In other words, "Turn and go in the right direction." Repentance is a military term that means, "About Face!"

All the while I was pulling on that latch and popping the hood trying to get it open, there was a voice deep in my spirit saying, "NO, you’re doing the wrong thing!" Did I listen? No, not until I kept bumping my head against the brick wall enough times to wear me out. Then I stepped back, re-assessed the situation and realized I had been wrong all along. (This is a hard thing to admit). I was pulling on the trunk latch! I walked over to the trunk and discovered it was unlatched. Slamming it shut, I walked back to the interior controls and reached down and pulled the hood latch, which was located in the side of the wall near the door hinges. I walked over to the hood and noticed it had released. A quick look around to see if anybody saw my foolhardiness and just shook my head in unbelief. Well, I can believe I did it, it happens from time to time. I was doing something wrong because I wasn’t paying attention and was so convinced in my self-will that I refused to see the truth. Good thing I corrected my mistake before I tore up the hood, which I might have done.

One man has said that "Repentance unleashes God’s divine power in your life."

I can believe it. How can God bless a person who insists on having his own way, going in his own direction? God waits until he stops and turns or fails before he can help him. Are you one of those poor unfortunate souls that have to learn the hard way? Join the club. Maybe by reading God’s Word and listening for his voice you can avoid further pain. Learn from someone else’s’ mistakes. Listen to the Word of God:

"There is a way that seems right to a man, but the end leads in death."

"Repent, for the kingdom of heaven is at hand."

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not unto your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight." (Proverbs 3:5-6)

It starts with relationship with God. We are sinners, inclined to go away from God. But if we will repent and turn to God, He will forgive our sins and give us a new start. (1 John 1:9) We receive God’s Spirit into our lives as a down-payment for eternity. He gives guidance and comfort the rest of the way home. Take a moment to read a few more truths from God’s Word and decide which way you will go: God’s way or the path of destruction.

"Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him and he with me." (Jesus Christ in Revelation 3:20)

"If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness." (1 John 1:8-9)

"Turn from evil and do good; seek peace and pursue it. The eyes of the Lord are on the righteous and His ears attentive to their cry; the face of the Lord is against those who do evil… The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit."(Psalm 34:14-15, 18)

"This is what the Almighty says: ‘Return to me,’ declares the Lord Almighty,’ ‘and I will return to you.’" (Zechariah 1:3)

"From that time on Jesus began to preach, ‘Repent, for the kingdom of heaven is near.’"(Matthew 4:17)

"If you had responded to my rebuke, I would have poured out my heart to you and made my thoughts known to you." (Proverbs 1:22, 23)

"Seek the Lord while He may be found; call on Him while He is near. Let the wicked forsake his way and the evil man his thoughts. Let him turn to the Lord, and He will have mercy o him and to our God, for He will freely pardon.

‘For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,’ declares the Lord. ‘As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.’" (Isaiah 55:6, 7)

Related Scriptures: Deuteronomy 10:16; Jeremiah 4:1-4, 14; 7:5-7; Acts 8:22; Luke 15:7;

24:47.

Roy Jenkins

July 5, 2006

March 10, 2005

What does a dying man tell his children on his death bed? I got to contemplate that on March 4, 2005. This is what happened.

I had felt a growing weakness that came to a head on a stressful day. I felt weak, dizzy and light-headed with a tightness in my chest. But the symptom that got my attention was the numbness in my left arm. I called my son to take me to the hospital. Quickly I addressed the envelope that held the manuscript of my just completed book, the culmination of my life-work to that point. If I was about to die, I had to get it out the door and on the way to the publisher. All the other unfinished jobs could be handled by someone else; at least that’s what was going through my head as we walked out the door.

On my way to the hospital I phoned Mike Shea, track owner of Gravity Alley MX where the National Championship Qualifier was getting started that weekend. "I can’t make it. I’m on my way to the hospital, and I don’t know how long I’ll be. Call your back-up announcer." When we pulled up to the ER entrance I handed the envelope with the CD to Kyle and told him to take it to the post office right away, then I checked myself in. After convincing the clerk of my identity and ability to produce insurance I dialed my wife’s cell phone and left a message. Twenty minutes later I was on a journey with a needle in my arm, monitors on my chest and a nitro tablet under my tongue. As they ran tests my mind whirred, "What will Linda think? How will Lacey take this? Who will lead the devotion at the race this weekend? What will I say to Kyle when he returns?"

The minutes turned into an hour, then two. "Were my wife and son in the ER waiting room? What did the nurse mean by his comments when he looked at my monitor? Is this it? Will this be how I go?" I remember thinking the only real unfinished business I have is to say good-bye to my wife and children. I thought about my God who was possibly calling me home. I was in direct contact with my Maker, off and on the whole time. Like the President’s red phone, which is the direct line to powers that be, I had my own "red phone" to my ear and was speaking directly to my heavenly Father off and on. "Will you take me home now?" I asked peacefully. I wondered about the pain, which is the only part I feared. "Can I come home now?" I pleaded. I had prayed that prayer before when I was flat on my face in the depths of sickness, pain or despair. "Am I finished now? I am getting kinda tired." I wondered if I could get one of those "out of body experiences", you know, the ones where the people die and see their body below them, then go to the light and talk to Jesus, get a glimpse of heaven. Every story I’ve read about that, the people were told to come back. Would I be told that? I somehow knew that would be harder, because, once I got out of the struggles of this world and experienced the tranquility, love and peace of the very presence of God, I would not want to come back here.

But God never answered. It was all speculation on my part. Then my thoughts turned again to my wife. Linda was just getting off from school and by now had gotten my message. Kyle should be back from the post office by now and be in the waiting room, wouldn’t he? The nurse appeared through the curtains to check on me. "How you doin’?" he asked with a glance to the monitors. "Ok. Could you check the waiting room and see if my wife or son is out there? And send them in?" I asked. "Sure." And he disappeared.

My mind went back into gear. I’ll have to give my son my usernames and passwords to the ez-board and my web-album. He’ll need to tell my friends in the racing community. He can take over the building of the web site. If he doesn’t get a job soon, he can maybe build a part-time job as a race reporter. He’s ready to face the world without a Dad. I’m sure my daughter can, too. She’s already proved her independence by living in Baton Rouge for the last three years. She’ll have a good job as a teacher after graduation. And Linda, she can support herself and will make a great grandmother someday. I can relax. If I die, it’s ok. What will it say on my headstone? For one thing it will say, July 25, 1956 – March 4, 2005. Did you catch that last date? 03-04-05. It’s a good day to die. Or did that idea come from way back in my Indian heritage? What about my favorite people, my modern-day tribe, the motocross racers? I could have done better. Maybe I should have kept that Bible study going. Maybe a church? No, they have their own churches. I definitely should have visited more racers who were in the hospital. But at least I’ve communicated my heart to them through "Racing Fuel."

Another hour passed and Linda and Kyle were at my side, and I was explaining my symptoms. Soon the cardiologist came in and I brought him up to speed, with what I had experienced. He scheduled me for a room to spend the night and for more tests, possibly an angiogram. Linda looked worried, Kyle and I were making jokes. Then I was wheeled upstairs and we joked about not bumping into the wall because of the nitroglycerine in my body.

When they checked me in upstairs, the nurses on the night shift put me on a scale. "What does it read?" She asked with pen in hand looking down at her form. "235," I said with a smile. "Height?" "6 foot 6," I played again. She looked up to read my face. The other nurse, obviously tired, had written it down. "I was just kidding," I said playfully. "I’m 5’9" and weigh 150." The other nurse erased her mistake and said, "I’m too tired, I need to go home." "He’s bad," my wife said impatiently, while Kyle smiled. I don’t think he understood the implications of the situation yet. He got a call from a friend who picked him up in the parking lot to go party. Linda and I watched cable TV until she started nodding. "You better go home," I said. "I think I better before I fall asleep," she replied as she picked her sleepy head off her shoulder and rubbed her eyes.

The next day I had to give more blood, vital signs, information and could not get food or drink in return as they were preparing me for the surgery. The cardiologist finally came in at mid-day and looked at my heart through an electro-cardiogram. After studying the blood tests he didn’t find any reason to keep me. "That’s a pretty serious mitro-valve prolapse. Sometimes that can give the symptoms of heart problems. I’m going to put you on mediation that relieves those symptoms and let you go home. Call my office to schedule a stress test on Monday.

So that’s it. I finally got to eat lunch and didn’t leave a crumb. Linda drove me home Saturday afternoon and I started the medication. I was disappointed that I didn’t get to go to my final home and join my ancestors, yet. Good thing I didn’t make a big deal about it. Later, when my friends and family called, especially when my Mom drove across the lake with her homemade soup I realized that others had been interceding for my life. I thought I was ready to meet my creator in His throne room. I was ready for Jesus, my savior and defense attorney to bring me before my judge and our Father. But He was not ready. As one of the well-wishing racers said on the internet post, "He has more for me to do."

So I have to live now. No. I get to live some more. But I’m not a young man anymore. I’m on heart medication. This is the harder road. But it’s my road. My race is not over, but it’s over half-way. The white flag will come out next. Will it be next week? Next month, next year? What if it’s 10 years? We have a saying in motorcycle racing: "Race to the Checkers!"

This mornings’ scripture reading is appropriate for my thoughts. It comes from Romans 8:18-28 as the Apostle Paul wrote to the church in Rome 1900 years ago: "I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. The creation waits in eager expectation for the sons of God to be revealed. For the creation was subjected to frustration, not by its own choice, but by the will of the one who subjected it, in hope that the creation itself will be liberated from its bondage to decay and brought into the glorious freedom of the children of God.

We know that the whole creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time. Not only so, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for out adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies. For in this hope we are saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what he already has? But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently.

In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. And He who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God’s will. And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose."

THE JUDGEMENT SEAT

The Bible teaches us not to judge or condemn each other. We are not qualified to judge each other because we do not know all the facts. One of my favorite stories illustrating this is about a man on a subway who is irritated because another man is allowing his children to run rampant on the train while he sits, oblivious, his head in his hands. His children are running around, talking loudly, fighting with each other, bumping into passengers. The observer takes it as long as he can, then angrily confronts the neglectful father, who responds: "Oh, I’m so sorry. You’re right. I didn’t notice. You see, we just came from the hospital. My wife died a few hours ago." We must be very careful in pronouncing judgment because we do not live inside other people’s skin. The Pharisees accused Jesus of working in the realm of evil. They probably thought they were right. When we silently or loudly accuse our loved ones of being lazy, unloving or irresponsible; we think we are justified. But we may be placing ourselves in condemnation of the Holy Spirit. When our heart is hard toward someone; when we look upon him or her with scorn; maybe God is looking upon us with scorn. What if I died unexpectedly while having critical, condemning thoughts toward someone, and I was suddenly before Jesus. What would He say to me? We all see "through a glass darkly"[1Cor.13:12]. Jesus commands us to love our enemies [Mt.5:44]. Loving people in truth enables them to grow beyond their character defects much more expeditiously than criticizing them. When we think critical, condemning thoughts of someone, we tend to put a curse on them. They have to fight hard not to think of themselves the way we think of them. Maybe they will become defensive and critical of us. All this is unnecessary if we obey Christ and abstain from judgmental and critical thoughts of our fellow humans. If someone is lost in the darkness of evil, try to help them if you can; pray for them; compassionately confront them; but do not hate, criticize or condemn them.